This blog sux!
Bad boy bad boy. This blog kinda sounds depressing... I guess this is where I try to let those negative thoughts flow out and hopefully out for good. Poor reader if anyone's reading haha for I think this is truly bad writing. Oh well.
Can I relieve my mind just a bit? Just a short one.
I was in a lift, going up.
Suddenly it fell - dropped.
Gosh - "So that's it?"
Didn't expect my "last" thought in life could be this short.
Was watching Decade, a passing-through Rider. Well-said, I'm just a traveler passing through this world too.
------------------------
I'm not doing many things that I like;
Not that I know what I like to do.
Residing in this shell that I hardly know;
And we've been together for beyond two decades.
(No this is not a poem;
It's trickles of words
flowing in drips, then drops,
crawling out of my mind.)
------------------------
I don't feel better after writing this though.
Let's try something else.
Communicate with your inner self Sir!
Take care of your shell,
and let time refresh your soul.
Do what you have to do,
make it what you want to do,
then it's a can-do.
My CO said so.
It's called attitude.
(Aim higher. Know your limits. Contradictory.
The trick lies in knowing when to use each.)
My life is in a mess.
I messed it up. I'm messed up.
Because I'm running in no direction.
Panting, panting; hey I was here before!
Michael, for some reason, kept saying "Don't take it so seriously"
Yes, perhaps he saw what I've always failed to see?
I'm just a traveler passing through this world.
I came in a bundle of (joy?), roaring into the day announcing my arrival.
And then at the end of my journey, quietly I'd go.
Nothing unusual.
Come and go, everyday, everytime. Now, even.
When it all ends, nothing matters anymore. So why take everything so seriously?
True.
80/20 - big rocks first.
Important ones first.
Can I fix myself up again? Yes I can.
Fix what? I don't really know. But I feel lousy just like that.
So that's it?
So that's it?
I've always had, these years, this "on-the-verge" feeling
For so long
But when's that "Eureka!" moment ever gonna arrive?
I'm sensing, looking, waiting, for something that might not even exist.
No I'm not gonna stare at the laptop screen until 2am into the night again
Waiting, just surfing idly, for something to happen.
(Internet addiction? Nope, I can go for hours without it.)
(Maybe it's that feeling of "waiting for something big to happen".
No, nothing's happened.)
Oh whatever, I'm getting confused myself.
(I just kept typing.)
--------------------------
Han Ji Hye and Ayaka are my current faves. I think they kinda look alike (my type?) and they are both honest and wise, "real", living personalities, who seem to be living their dreams out there. (Maybe I should find a male role model too, but whatever.)
I need a guiding lamp, but there's none, but this brain sitting up there, and this shell where I reside in. Already better off than most, some might say. True.
So that's it? Nobody knows.
But how about squeezing something out of this shell. Let's see what it can do.
(Surely it has acquired some abilities over time. Check it out man.)
So it's exploration now then. Explore your shell first. What's so interesting? Can you fly, mindread, go through walls?
Maybe, I'll find out.
And I'll explore this world,
before my time's up, god knows when.
So that when it's that's it, great, I've had a great time, nice being here.
And then on to The Next.
Simple as that.
Yes, that's it then.
That's it.
While it lasts.
-------------------------
Ok it wasn't that short. But well, it's not really meant to be read.
Can I relieve my mind just a bit? Just a short one.
I was in a lift, going up.
Suddenly it fell - dropped.
Gosh - "So that's it?"
Didn't expect my "last" thought in life could be this short.
Was watching Decade, a passing-through Rider. Well-said, I'm just a traveler passing through this world too.
------------------------
I'm not doing many things that I like;
Not that I know what I like to do.
Residing in this shell that I hardly know;
And we've been together for beyond two decades.
(No this is not a poem;
It's trickles of words
flowing in drips, then drops,
crawling out of my mind.)
------------------------
I don't feel better after writing this though.
Let's try something else.
Communicate with your inner self Sir!
Take care of your shell,
and let time refresh your soul.
Do what you have to do,
make it what you want to do,
then it's a can-do.
My CO said so.
It's called attitude.
(Aim higher. Know your limits. Contradictory.
The trick lies in knowing when to use each.)
My life is in a mess.
I messed it up. I'm messed up.
Because I'm running in no direction.
Panting, panting; hey I was here before!
Michael, for some reason, kept saying "Don't take it so seriously"
Yes, perhaps he saw what I've always failed to see?
I'm just a traveler passing through this world.
I came in a bundle of (joy?), roaring into the day announcing my arrival.
And then at the end of my journey, quietly I'd go.
Nothing unusual.
Come and go, everyday, everytime. Now, even.
When it all ends, nothing matters anymore. So why take everything so seriously?
True.
80/20 - big rocks first.
Important ones first.
Can I fix myself up again? Yes I can.
Fix what? I don't really know. But I feel lousy just like that.
So that's it?
So that's it?
I've always had, these years, this "on-the-verge" feeling
For so long
But when's that "Eureka!" moment ever gonna arrive?
I'm sensing, looking, waiting, for something that might not even exist.
No I'm not gonna stare at the laptop screen until 2am into the night again
Waiting, just surfing idly, for something to happen.
(Internet addiction? Nope, I can go for hours without it.)
(Maybe it's that feeling of "waiting for something big to happen".
No, nothing's happened.)
Oh whatever, I'm getting confused myself.
(I just kept typing.)
--------------------------
Han Ji Hye and Ayaka are my current faves. I think they kinda look alike (my type?) and they are both honest and wise, "real", living personalities, who seem to be living their dreams out there. (Maybe I should find a male role model too, but whatever.)
I need a guiding lamp, but there's none, but this brain sitting up there, and this shell where I reside in. Already better off than most, some might say. True.
So that's it? Nobody knows.
But how about squeezing something out of this shell. Let's see what it can do.
(Surely it has acquired some abilities over time. Check it out man.)
So it's exploration now then. Explore your shell first. What's so interesting? Can you fly, mindread, go through walls?
Maybe, I'll find out.
And I'll explore this world,
before my time's up, god knows when.
So that when it's that's it, great, I've had a great time, nice being here.
And then on to The Next.
Simple as that.
Yes, that's it then.
That's it.
While it lasts.
-------------------------
Ok it wasn't that short. But well, it's not really meant to be read.
posted by Zhane at 11:44 PM
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