Low Self-worth may be cause of spreading anxiety
(Wendy Chua K. Wand, mindyourbody, January 10, 2007)
"When people are afraid of using their voice, it is likely that they have suffered from excessive criticism or verbal abuse. They start to invalidate their own opinions and feelings and assume that people will neither approve, nor like what they are saying.
Another cause may be excessive shame. They have a secret that they are ashamed of, and so they avoid social contact in case they reveal the secret in their words or eyes.
...
Was there an event or events that could have caused so much humiliation and shame,..., that reduced your confidence to speak out?
...examine the possible causes. Who are the people in your lives that criticise you - parents, teachers, peers, others? What are the criticisms about?
Many people share with me that they hear criticisms about their speech that imply "you are not good enough", "you are talking nonsense", "you should not say such things".
Many adults hear such negative messages from young. Some were also ridiculed when they made mistakes during class presentations.
Writing down the critics in your life and their messages will help you deal with the second step.
The second step is to take a good look at these criticisms and find evidence that they are too harsh and do not tell who you really are. You are good enough, you do have valid and useful things to say etc. This is working to bring up your self-worth.
The third step is to write about the people in your life who appreciate you and what are their positive messages about you. If you get stuck at this step, then it is time to get some feedback from your family and friends. Given your fragile self-esteem at this point, I would suggest you ask them for positive traits so you can build your self-worth.
If you have a secret that you feel is burdening yourself, find someone you trust and voice it out. By being careful not to talk about something that bothers you, you are destroying your own voice. So give your voice an opportunity to be heard.
Finally, set some practical social goals for yourself. Given your shy nature, you may want to aim to spend time with your family and friends in small groups of not more than four at a time. Be the one to listen to their chatter and not be anxious that you have to talk a lot. Everyone appreciates a great listener. Your goals can also include taking public speaking classes or even story-telling classes. This will help you learn techniques that address your specific needs.
It is good that you are addressing this anxiety while you are still young and studying. You would not want this to interfere with your life when you are working and dating. Learning to express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself, and the community"
I'm glad chilli is seemingly happy. Kk is happily in good company. Everybody's doing just fine.
"When people are afraid of using their voice, it is likely that they have suffered from excessive criticism or verbal abuse. They start to invalidate their own opinions and feelings and assume that people will neither approve, nor like what they are saying.
Another cause may be excessive shame. They have a secret that they are ashamed of, and so they avoid social contact in case they reveal the secret in their words or eyes.
...
Was there an event or events that could have caused so much humiliation and shame,..., that reduced your confidence to speak out?
...examine the possible causes. Who are the people in your lives that criticise you - parents, teachers, peers, others? What are the criticisms about?
Many people share with me that they hear criticisms about their speech that imply "you are not good enough", "you are talking nonsense", "you should not say such things".
Many adults hear such negative messages from young. Some were also ridiculed when they made mistakes during class presentations.
Writing down the critics in your life and their messages will help you deal with the second step.
The second step is to take a good look at these criticisms and find evidence that they are too harsh and do not tell who you really are. You are good enough, you do have valid and useful things to say etc. This is working to bring up your self-worth.
The third step is to write about the people in your life who appreciate you and what are their positive messages about you. If you get stuck at this step, then it is time to get some feedback from your family and friends. Given your fragile self-esteem at this point, I would suggest you ask them for positive traits so you can build your self-worth.
If you have a secret that you feel is burdening yourself, find someone you trust and voice it out. By being careful not to talk about something that bothers you, you are destroying your own voice. So give your voice an opportunity to be heard.
Finally, set some practical social goals for yourself. Given your shy nature, you may want to aim to spend time with your family and friends in small groups of not more than four at a time. Be the one to listen to their chatter and not be anxious that you have to talk a lot. Everyone appreciates a great listener. Your goals can also include taking public speaking classes or even story-telling classes. This will help you learn techniques that address your specific needs.
It is good that you are addressing this anxiety while you are still young and studying. You would not want this to interfere with your life when you are working and dating. Learning to express yourself with clarity, confidence, and compassion is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself, and the community"
I'm glad chilli is seemingly happy. Kk is happily in good company. Everybody's doing just fine.
posted by Zhane at 12:48 AM
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